Eureka...I think

My husband and i were talking this afternoon about possible career options for him (he's thinking about going back to school) and, later in the evening, i found myself getting more and more frustrated with the kids' behavior. After a while, i said to him that i didn't know how he found the patience to deal with them on a daily basis and he stated that he didn't know how i had the patience to do my job and deal with some of the people i have to work with. Suddenly, it dawned on me that i expend so much of my patience at work that i have little left by the time i get home.

So, what to do...find a new job? move to a new place? go back to school? Unfortunately, i don't have a solid answer at this point. i looked at job listings tonight but that effort felt fruitless because i'm not sure if i even want to stay in the same job field anymore. i really do like helping people but i get frustrated by the lack of opportunities, lack of funding for programs that are needed to truly help, and those who are looking for the world to do everything for them. Having worked in the social work field for almost 8 years, it's what i know and do best - i've worked with all ages, all incomes, all kinds of different physical, mental, and developmental disabilities. Just when i think i've seen and heard it all, something new pops up and that's exciting to me. But, this is the second time that my work life has started to majorly affect my personal life. The last time, i let it get to the point that i was crying several days a week either before or after work and i don't want to let it go that far this time. The kids are still young and i don't want to miss out on things with them because i'm too stressed out to deal with them. Plus, if we were to move or make any major changes to our current lifestyle, they probably wouldn't even notice or care.

In short, this coming year may lead to a lot of changes around here and hopefully i can keep what little sanity i have intact in the meantime. Are you ready? because i'm not sure i am yet.